RANSVESTIA

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to manage this cross-dressing involvement so that it did not injure anyone else, especially my wife. To implement this concept is a dif- ficult and complex undertaking requiring great sensitivity so that in the broadest sense of ethical, moral, spiritual and physical values my actions would not be detrimental to those around me.

The place to start appeared to be to learn as much as possible about the subject of transvestism. Each week I spent a few hours in the library of the local medical school searching for data. This systematic working on the problem helped drain off some of the desire and after many months I reached the end of available information.

I liked flying so I decided to learn to fly a sailplane as a hobby, in hopes of partial relief from my feminine desires through the sublima- tion technique described by the psychiatrist. I enjoyed soaring but it did not appreciably lessen my desire to cross-dress. I next tried piano lessons with no better success. Over the years I tried several more hob- bies, some intensely masculine, but to no avail.

I began working to expedite saving up the downpayment for a home of our own as a way to begin creating the shell of security recommended by the psychiatrist. After a year of painfully slow progress I went to work on a two-year construction project with high pay and very long hours, in an all-out push to save the money we need- ed. Each night I came home exhausted and for awhile I thought that if I could continually work to exhaustion I would be too tired to want to cross-dress. But just as the psychiatrist had predicted, even the num- bing exhaustion of hard work would not satisfactorily relieve the desire. At times I felt like quitting. But I prayed frequently for guidance and the answer always seemed to be to hang on and keep working toward buying our home.

At about this time the Christine Jorgensen story broke. I im- mediately subscribed to the New York Daily News and read every par- ticle of information about her. I made no attempt to hide my interest from my wife and gradually she began to take note of the news articles. She reacted with apprehension, commenting but little, no doubt secretly fearing that I was in the same category as Christine. Seeming- ly as a result of the Jorgensen story my wife's attitude about "my problem" as she has always referred to it, began to change from anger to concern. Then one day at the height of the Jorgensen era she offered

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